The Veil and Other Short Stories
by Trish the Stalker
Summary: A series of of short stories based on the events in book 5. They are in chronological order although they weren't written that way. They focus on Sirius, Severus and Remus. UPDATES: Added "Silence" and revised version of "The Letter." PG-13 for language.
1. Silence

_**Disclaimer:** As goes for the following chapters, the majority of the characters and events portrayed in these stories belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling who has brought the Harry Potter Universe to life. Also, some use direct quotations from the books._

* * *

Silence. Nothing but silence, all of the time. He was beginning to understand Kreacher's madness. The insanity of one left in nothing but screaming silence. Sirius spent as much time tending to Buckbeak as possible, it kept him sane. Compulsive letters to Remus. Some days he would even become a dog and race down the halls. Nothing but the ticking silence. The moments edging on. He sat at a desk, letter to Remus sitting in a gaping fashion, begging to be finished by a mind as blank as the quiet. Everything had been said, nothing was left in his mind. This was worse than Azkaban. Still, he was used to waiting. But what now? He had nothing to look forward to. He pushed himself out of his chair roughly and began to pace. He did a lot of that now too. He was quick to temper closed in such confines. Cabin fever was constant. He couldn't leave, not yet. Not for a long time.  
  
_Stay._  
  
Like an obedient dog. Commanded to stay for safety's sake. Stay so that he didn't jump the fence into oncoming traffic. How he hated it! He felt like a trapped animal clawing to escape a box, frantic and screaming. But all was silent, save for the ticking of the clock.

* * *

Remus sat across the table from Sirius, no sound, none. The silence had opened its jaws and swallowed them. It was awkward, as it had always been since that night fifteen years ago. Suddenly his blank thoughts were interrupted by Harry's head poking through the fire.

* * *

Harry was gone, Remus had immediately thrown on his tattered coat and dashed out the door. "Don't go anywhere!" he had said.  
  
Where could he go? He was trapped, like a rat. This thought made his blood boil. He had compared himself to a rat. A dirty rat. A rat who had sent his friends to their deaths. Harry! Oh God no! Sirius bit his lip until it bled. He couldn't leave.  
  
He could leave, and he would. Nothing was stopping him. He had promised that he would stay, but he could leave. Getting up, he transformed himself into a dog and shot out of the house, once setting foot on grass again he let himself fly with a sense of delirious abandonment. He tore down the street, kicking up dirt clods with his clawed toes. He would find a way to reach the Ministry of Magic, it would be easy on feet like these.  
  
He screeched to a halt.  
  
_Buckbeak.  
_  
Almost lost in his own freedom, his kindred prisoner lay nearly forgotten. Back inside the house Buckbeak was hysterical with the promise of leaving the dreadful house. The Hippogriff stretched its mighty wings and flew with a newfound strength and vitality.

* * *

The Ministry stood looming in front of him like some deadly beast and it was there that he ran into Kingsley Shacklebolt and old Mad Eye Moody. Kingsley spoke up first, "Sirius Black! You should be out of sight back at Grimmauld Place!" He sounded as if he was scolding a dog as opposed to the full grown man that stood before him.  
  
"Well, he's here now and he may as well join us. It would be much simpler than sending him back. That would be turning down a willing and able fighter if I ever saw it." Mad Eye pointed out.

* * *

Harry was in serious trouble. Sirius himself smirked at the sorely overused pun that ran through his head. Taking stock of Harry's position, Sirius searched out another face. Bellatrix stood about ten feet from the archway in the death room. He gained his footing about two metres from her and she welcomed him with malicious grin. The fight was on.  
  
Bellatrix was firing spells at Sirius with a ferocity. They fought with equal hatred for one another, delving deep into their pasts and into their hearts to find a larger source of hatred than the other. Sirius laughed a deep and unkind laugh that made Remus look up for a moment. This was a side of Sirius that was on the point of madness. Remus noticed what Sirius hadn't - he was slowly being forced backward.  
  
Sirius found a sick joy in taunting Bellatrix, baiting her. She fumed, and he laughed harder. She missed, getting flustered, but recomposing herself easily and not ruffling a feather. "Come on, you can do better than that!" She could never hit the broad side of a horse's arse let alone a target ten feet away from her. Suddenly a look up bewilderment crossed his face. He was already falling, hit moments before, smile never quite dying from his face. He could guess who was a horse's arse... 


	2. The Veil

I watched from my place in the room. The room was full of battle cries and the sound of spells flying in every direction. I fired at a Death Eater that had crossed my path. He quickly fell, not noticing I had been standing there until he was down. I remained in my corner, out of sight. My work for the Order was more of freelance than being an actual part. They let me know what was happening, and I came to meetings. Of course I would have been a member, if only I let myself feel like associated with it. The only member I had become remotely close to was Sirius Black. He was like me; of pureblood descent, but pure of heart. Both of us disowned by our families at an early age. Of course Sirius had friends, even a godson. I immediately dissociated myself from anyone trying to understand me. But Sirius was the only one with whom I had ever let my guard down enough to become close to. Death almost immediately followed the few people I became friends with. I had to keep telling myself that it wouldn't happen this time, and as soon as the Dark Lord was out of power for good I could be happy.  
  
I kept my eye on Sirius as he duelled with Bellatrix Lestrange on the dais which supported an archway covered by a veil. She was his, I knew that. Any other Death Eater would have been personally sniped before he even got close to Sirius. I still had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right. Of course it wasn't right, we were up against much more than just a problem, we were fighting a greater evil than ever before. I watched as Sirius dodged a blast of red from Bellatrix's wand.  
  
Sirius's next words would haunt me for an eternity afterward. "Come on, you can do better than that!" He was laughing at her. Her next shot caught him square in the chest. I stopped myself from running forward, knowing that it could spell my doom. I could only watch as time slowed down to a standstill. His eyed widened in horror, though his smiled didn't quite vanish. His godson ran forward, along with the great Albus Dumbledore. They both drew their wands.  
  
Sirius fell backward, he appeared to be moving through water. I watched in my silent terror as he disappeared into the veil with a look of shock and panic on his face. Bellatrix let out a horrible triumphant war cry. His godson had ran towards the veil screaming Sirius's name in short frightened gasps which bordered on sobs. He was almost there when Sirius's good friend, Remus Lupin caught Harry around the chest to prevent him from reaching his destination. I realized then that I had sunk to my knees, a numbness in my veins.  
  
"There's nothing you can do, Harry -" I could hear the pain in Remus's voice, though it remained steady and calm. He had learned a long time ago how to numb the pain of loss.  
  
"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Harry was on the verge of hysteria, letting out a series of sobbing screams.  
  
"Its too late, Harry."  
  
"We can still reach him -" Harry struggled ferociously to break free of Remus's grip, but he held firm. "There's nothing you can do, Harry ... nothing ... he's gone."  
  
"He hasn't gone!" Harry was screaming.  
  
"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!" "He can't come back, Harry, he can't come back because he's d-"  
  
"HE - IS - NOT - DEAD! SIRIUS!" I could feel a tear drip down my cheek. Still I watched as though I was floating. I felt as though I was no longer there, simply just a witness to the actions going on around me. There was still a battle going on. I suddenly took note of all that had continued to happen as Sirius had gone. I collapsed back into the corner, unable to go on. I pulled my legs up close and began to sob silently in the shadows. He isn't gone. Harry's words echoed through my head. He's only just gone through. I then realized what I had to do.  
  
I rose to my feet and crossed the battlefield. Anyone who had watched Sirius fall to the other side was nowhere to be seen, so noone could stop me. I had only one objective in mind, and nothing could prevent me from reaching the veil. I blocked out all of the activity and noise surrounding me. I stepped up the dais, and reached the archway. Holding my breath, hoping to reveal Sirius waiting there with his impatient smile, eager to begin the battle once again, I took the remaining step toward the tattered veil.  
  
I closed my eyes, pulled back the veil and stepped forward. 


	3. The Letter

Wings beating with a sense of purpose, the owl flew forward, propelled by the seriousness of the situation. Twelve Grimmauld Place she had been told. That's where the man would be, he had been told to stay there. Although only a bird, the fact that her master had been seemingly perturbed by something weighed on herself. She felt the urgency and flew faster than ever before. Her master was never ruffled by anything, and the fact that he had been anxious gnawed on her.  
  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry far behind her, mountains long in the distance, she was gaining on a row of houses. Number Twelve Grimmauld Place seemed to rise out of the ground and she alighted on a windowsill. Peering in the closed window, she spotted a very dismal looking Hippogriff. It looked up and spotted her, eyes gleaming dully with the satisfaction of spotting another living creature.  
  
Flying from window to window to spot the man she was looking for she saw halls and rooms that were empty, save for the gathering dust upon antiquities that looked as much a part of the house as the walls and floorboards. Eventually, before finding someone to open a window and take her urgent message, she found a window left ajar and for a while, the owl guessed by the leaves and dirt on the attic floor.  
  
Methodically scanning the house, the owl ended up in the kitchen. Her target was there, at the table. From the back she could see his black hair, but not much else. His entire body was silhouetted by the fire he sat in front of. A house elf sat snickering in front of the hearth, seemingly enjoying a conversation with himself, not even glancing at the man. His long thin fingers drummed absently on the table. The owl let out a soft hoot and the man turned. Firelight flickered across his features. His greasy hair shimmering, his dark endless eyes reflecting the flames eerily with an orange-black glow unlike any other she had seen before. His eyes flicked across the bird, then to the letter. He leaned forward lazily taking the letter from her outstretched leg.  
  
Severus Snape opened the letter addressed to himself and read it over. It was written in fragments by Albus Dumbledore's ever so slightly trembling hand. As he read, he leaned back into his chair. He smirked as he glanced at the first part. But as he gazed at one sentence, a look of horror penetrated his nearly emotionless face and he sat bolt upright. He reread the sentence over and over, thinking that every time he had not read it properly.  
  
Sirius Black was dead.  
  
All his life he had wished for this moment, the moment when the man he had been ridiculed by as the child he still saw in him would meet his end. Now, alone in this man's own house, alone except for the mad house elf which had agreed with Severus' thinking aloud. When he had been talking about how much he "Hated Potter," and wished that "Sirius would just fall down dead." In fact, the house elf had listened so well as to actually make his deepest desire come true. Now Severus only wanted to take it back. He collapsed into his chair with a sigh of despair, and thought aloud in front of the elf one last time, head in hands mufflilng his voice, "Oh God, I'm the murderer I always wanted to be." 


	4. Coping

_"Come on, you can do better than that!"  
  
"There's nothing you can do, Harry -"  
  
"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"  
  
"Its too late, Harry."  
  
"We can still reach him -"  
  
"There's nothing you can do, Harry ... nothing ... he's gone."  
  
"He hasn't gone!"  
  
"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"  
  
"He can't come back, Harry, he can't come back because he's d-"  
  
"HE - IS - NOT - DEAD! SIRIUS!"  
_  
----------  
  
Remus woke up in a cold sweat. Those words had haunted him for months now, and still he could not remove them from his subconscious. He had been sure Sirius wasn't coming back from the moment the veil had swallowed him. And yet as time wore on, a nagging doubt had entered his mind. What if they had been able to move the veil and Sirius would be right there?  
  
Remus got up and headed for the sink. His grungy shack had become even worse than before. Before he had at least tried to keep things clean despite the peeling paint. Now it was an effort to get up every morning to look for work. The taps creaked as he turned them. Remus splashed the water on his face and looked into the mirror. It was badly streaked and there was rust around the edges, but he could still see the bags under his sleep deprived eyes. He could still see how his face was becoming hollow and thin. He could still see the remaining brown hair amidst the grey tangled mess. It was only a matter of time before things got worse. His work for the Order had been limited these days. He didn't blame them for lessening his workload, nor did he dislike it. The only thing he hadn't cared for was how much time it gave him to think about how much had gone wrong.  
  
Remus peered out the window as the moonlight was streaming in. How he hated moonlight and all it stood for. The sickly glow that brought with it unimaginable pain. It would soon be midnight; time for the transformation. The suddenly th e moonlight burned his skin and he stepped back from the window in agony. Not that the pain hadn't left because the throbbing had entered his bones and his skin began to ripple. The hairs on his arms grew in thickness and length. Remus's legs then began to change shape. His feet lengthened and his legs shortened causing all of his muscles to pull taught or become limp for brief periods of time. They then set themselves straight out from his stomach. His spine altered shape and his fingers shrunk back. There was the painful sliding of his shoulder blades to in front of his rounding chest. His neck became thicker and longer. Now came the reshaping of his skull. His nasal passages started to pull forward, the pain coursing through his head. His incisors grew as his molars twisted to sharp spades. The lengthening of his bottom jaw was overshadowed by his skull becoming streamlined and pointed. It had set itself to connect parallel to his spine as opposed to perpendicular. The searing pain through his flesh as all of his organs altered position and size while he ushered a howl. All of this happens every full moon in under a minute.  
  
For a moment he lay as a wolf panting on the floor. The wolfsbane potion forced him to keep his sanity even during the most painful parts of the transformation. He still felt like tearing the wall apart, but he knew where he was. There were old slash marks in the wall. His head was screaming at him to tear, shred and kill. He rushed at the wall, this time letting the fury take him. Remus felt the release of the consuming hatred. He acted as a rabid dog would, attacking everything. When he grew tired of aiming his senseless fury at the wall he let go a painful howl of sadness, pain and regret. The echoes travelled much further than ever before and even muggles were not comforted by the thought that it was "just a wolf."  
  
Remus moved from where he lay resting and the moonlight entered the window. The moon, he must destroy the moon to end it all. This was the irrational thinking of a mad wolf. The barred window blocked his way to rip it, to kill it. If only he could get rid of it. But then sanity flooded him, and the hatred was gone.  
  
----------  
  
_Dead._  
  
----------  
  
The word itself made Remus come hurtling back to reality at such a speed that it hurt, the reality he would much rather have left behind. He was alone, truly alone. No one was ever going to be there again. Nothing, there was nothing. No Sirius to turn to, no hope. Even the thought of Sirius being guilty had hurt less than his death. It was an awful though and it made him want to be sick.  
  
He let loose a howl, a howl even more sorrowful and heart wrenching than the last. Why? Wasn't that the question never answered? The question children asked until could be explained no more? And wasn't now a time when it could be answered no further? Why.  
  
The unanswered question, the one thing when you really need to know the answer, the prayer falls on deaf ears. How to keep going was what needed to be done now. Remus made another crazed dash at the wall. How to deal with pain; hadn't he learned that long ago? No, pain was never anything that you could ever fully cope with. You can put on a front but inside you still die a little each day. He knew that he would never be okay and never again would he be happy like before. Remus wasn't living for himself anymore, and he knew it. He had only one goal now, and that was to protect James's memory from harm. Harry was all that mattered now. He had failed his friends in all the other respects, but he could not fail when it came to Harry. He had let Peter feel like he still had to go elsewhere, and didn't see it coming. He hadn't been able to get to James. He had not believed in Sirius's innocence. He would die for Harry if it meant he had done something right for a change. Then he could rest. Then he could be happy again. Then he would be whole. Not this blind fury. He howled once more and curled up in silence, satisfied and tired. Then he slept.  
  
---------  
  
_"When I grow up, I'm gonna be an Auror!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I'm going to be the most powerful wizard ever!"  
  
"I'm going to be the most famous wizard, and everyone will want my autograph!"  
  
"Moony, what are you gonna be?"  
  
"Normal."_  
  
----------  
  
Remus awoke on the floor, but he had a more restful sleep than ever before the last night. He got dressed and walked to the door, grabbing his tattered hat on the way out. Today he was headed for Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. 


	5. Martyrs

"It doesn't matter what they say, we are still human beings."  
  
"Not to them, we will always be monsters to them. If that is what they say we are, how can we not be any different? If they treat us as monsters, we are. We can't be human beings if they won't let us be."  
  
"There is a way."  
  
"You've been fighting since you were eighteen to have them see you as a person, and what has that gotten you? Just more people knowing who you are, not wanting to take you in. You have no money, you live in a shack at best, and what of me? My life is not much better. I barely keep myself fed. They look at me as if I'm going to attack at any given moment, as if I would just spring upon them, regardless of appearance. We are numbers, statistics, fucking dog tags to them!" I pulled the chain out from underneath my blouse and waved it in the air.  
  
"We'll get there, it takes time." Remus looked as patient and calm as ever, but he was truthfully swimming in the hopelessness of it all.  
  
"How long before another killing?" I waved the Daily Prophet in his face, "We are worse off than the muggles! We need to do something, they will kill us all, in cold blood or by leaving us to starve. They will be murderers without remorse because we are only 'dangerous beasts,' we are things to be destroyed, a plague on all human kind."  
  
"If we can find a cure..."  
  
"A cure? A cure!? Remus, you can't believe that we'll ever find one? It is lore, its like trying to rid human nature of hatred, its impossible. Even if we do find a cure, how long will it be? How many more need to suffer by this? It is not our choosing to be slaves to the moon. They do not care. We are as good as dead anyway. I can feel myself dying day by day, the weight of the burden, the pain of being hated, and it's killing you too."  
  
"I can't just sit and let it be, just watch us all suffer. If we just step aside, it will still be."  
  
"And what of it then? When we are free will we still help others like us? Will we remember we were once as persecuted as them? Fear drives human beings to hate, and we will always be feared. People fear what they do not understand and there will always, always be misunderstandings. Human nature is too rash, something will always separate us all. Beliefs, race, family, origin, or simple personality. Nothing can fix it, so it might as well be us."  
  
"We can stop it." Remus looked so discouraged and hopelessly lost that he had to sit down. "I know we can."  
  
"What of your life after that? Will there be any more purpose to it? I know I would rather die than be in this hell, because believe me, we are in Hell right now. Besides, once that is done, you will die, I can tell you. One without a purpose is a lost soul."  
  
Remus simply sat and thought, I thought I saw a tear roll down his white face. Defiance lined his jaw, but also did weariness. I felt a pang of sympathy for what I had been saying, true as it was. He was broken now and it was I who had broken him. After all he'd been through, all he had withstood, I broke him with those simple words. Remus gave a sigh. "I suppose you're right, but I will have saved everyone else. We are slowly perfecting our inequalities amongst our society. One day there will be no need for people like me."  
  
"But who will have purpose then? Will it be worth it to live in Utopia? It will all be meaningless bliss. There is no pleasing human nature."  
  
"We can try."  
  
"Try is never good enough, and yet we always do and failure results. But we learn from failure. What happens when everything is learned?"  
  
"We'll know it when we get there." These words hit me full force in the stomach. These words in themselves had crushed all my momentum. I stood speechless. "Remus, fulfill your purpose, and once it is done, your soul can rest easy. And once I see the purpose in life, my soul can rest easy too."  
  
Months passed, and a vitality grew in Remus again, such a vigour that I wished I couldn't still remember that lost look in his eyes that never did fully leave my memory. I grew to realize why he needed to do what he did for us all, for our freedom. I began to regrow the hope that I had lost with my childhood, and we grew close o each other. I felt such a love for that look of determination that appeared on his face. I loved his face, his almost entirely grey hair, his eyes of sadness and joy at once. I wished to hold on to that sweet night in October, when he had kissed me. We sat in light of a waning moon, underneath the young oak tree.  
  
"Remus, have you ever felt alone?"  
  
"I think that loneliness follows with how well you can cope. How well you can change your life for the better. But yes, I have been alone so long, but it still hurts." Suddenly all I wanted to do was take away his pain. I found a purpose, a meaning in him. I lived to be his relief from the burden he had chosen to carry.  
  
"I love you..." I wished in an instant in my shame that I could have stopped myself from whispering those words, to be able to grasp them in the air and prevent my heart from reaching his ears. My misgivings faded at once when he leaned in and whispered into my ear those very same words. He kissed me then, soft and sweet, yet bitter and harsh. My world turned upside down from then on, and I knew then, that no matter what, I had a purpose.

* * *

**17 October, The Daily Prophet**  
  
Remus J. Lupin was killed today during a peaceful protest for werewolf rights in the front halls of the Ministry of Magic. Angry onlookers fired multiple hexes into the small group of wolves. They ministry was too late to intervene and as a result three wolves were pronounced dead at the scene. Lupin was standing in the front line and was hit full force with four separate shots. Still alive, they bound him and took him outside to a tree where they hung him in the fashion of muggles, on the basis that he was not fit for a "proper wizarding death." The other two wolves were hit with spells that had combined and hit with such force that they died nearly instantaneously.

* * *

_18 October  
  
The blood of a martyr is the most influential yet unstable way of ensuring the future of a people. As with others in the past, the death of Remus J. Lupin changed many lives, including my own. Such a inspirational man should never be forgotten. And I hope that what I foresee comes to pass, as I will not be there to witness it. For this will be a historic day in our history, it will be a long winding road to freedom, and once we get there we may not know what to do, but that will have to wait. Some things are only to be seen with the heart. Now I know where my own heart is, and though many do not see it, simply by staring at this page, the person who finds this will certainly be able to feel it.  
  
The meaning of life is not to die, but to die with a purpose. If we do not die fighting for justice, fighting for truth, fighting for liberty, fighting for what will one day no longer be fought for, but earned, can we say we really lived? What have we done with our lives unless they served a purpose to the world? Even if it is not a lasting mark, it will make a change. And that change, that difference is worth your life. I have not lived, and therefore, I have really not died. My heart has simply been broken, because my purpose was to love, and I lost that chance, so to be where my love has gone is all that matters.  
  
May I join Remus in eternity._


End file.
